did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
