Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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