me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Randomize
