Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
