my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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