Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
