just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
