i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
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