I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
