This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
