Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
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