He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
i think my mom watched the whole time
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
