dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
