No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
