I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
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