actually, I'm a sock model
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
COCAINE IS GR8
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
