Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Randomize
