Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize