u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize