69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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