But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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