it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
