I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
