I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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