I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I think i peed on brittanys purse
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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