fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
