Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
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