Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
