my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
