we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I have feelings that need drinking.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize