weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
