THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
