You really coming over, don't trick.
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
