don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
