I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize