OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
