i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Randomize
