Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
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