make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
