Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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