Where are you?
In a non slutty way
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
