we have officially lost it.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
