So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
