"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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