chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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