it was like his penis was on wheels.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
