the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize