Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Alive.
So much puke
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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