You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
