Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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