I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
