So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
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