On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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