Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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