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You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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