Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
