I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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