11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
