I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
