just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
